Play Undead

If you got a sudden influx of followers because of ONE stupid post, would you whine about it every fifteen minutes? Or would you use those fifteen minutes to spam the hell out of their dashboards with every inane thing that’s ever even remotely amused you?

Seriously, keep complaining about it, you’ll definitely have a lot fewer people reading your blog. Why even Tumblr then?

Whenever I read a novel, I’m never completely satisfied with it unless it has a good amount of humor in it. I don’t care what it is; fantasy, adventure, mystery, horror…there should always be some funny scenes in it, or at least one character that’s not as serious or just has more personality than all the rest. I LOVE characters who say something smart while in a scary situation. You know they’re just as terrified as everyone else, but they still manage to crack a joke or be snarky, and it adds some level to everything. As though that one character knows somehow that there are bigger and more important things than whatever they happen to be facing. They don’t forget themselves, even in that moment. Also, it makes them more endearing (unless they take it too far and just come off like Chandler from Friends. Then you just want to smack them. Well, I do, anyway) Even if a story makes me cry or feel depressed, if it also made me laugh at least as much, then I can forgive that.

I just don’t think any story is complete unless it’s funny here and there.

I am determined NEVER to worship anybody or kiss anyone’s ass, no matter how much I admire them and their talents. And I actually get really, reeeaaaaally irritated with fandoms for artists online, because they act like those artists are their shoguns and they are their samurai and anyone who makes the slightest critical comment is the enemy. All the while, the “shoguns” are eating it up and basking in it like they’re somehow entitled to their very own, non-compensated army of dweebs with absolutely nothing better to do than come to their undeserved defense. As if it weren’t bad enough that everyone falls all over themselves for actual famous people, they have to go and make idols out of self-important dorks like these, too.

Agh…WHY AM I SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW??

Whenever I open a chocolate bar with a foil wrapper under the label, a part of me still hopes to find a Golden Ticket. But you know that thing would be expired, and the Chocolate Factory would have been long closed down, abandoned, demolished, and there would be a Super Walmart in its place. And all the Oompa Loompas would have long ago been laid off and then deported when people found them and their judgmental songs far too disturbing as they panhandled for gumdrops in the streets. And Willy Wonka would be wasting away in a rehab clinic somewhere, and not from an addiction to lollipops, either. We all knew that guy was too weird to be legit, let’s face it.

Man, I hate it when that adult voice in my head comes in and bulldozes over any childhood ideas I still have left.

Say what you want about Taylor Swift. At least she writes her own songs *cough*unlikealltheotherpopstarsever*cough*